So who's next then?

Why it's perennial blonde David Matthew Painter, songwriter, singer, strummer of the guitar and erstwhile student of the English language.

Go on... passionate, a deep thinker, lover of literature, a real tortured artist I suppose?

Err, well... while, ahem, a man of heart and profundity, if Dave was any more chilled he'd be a walk-in freezer.

Did I also sense a certain emphasis on blonde?

Maybe so. But there is an up side. Blondes are genuinely an endangered species, so that could be a real gimmick in, say, 200 years time. Far out, man.

Legend has it that he's a bit of a prankster.

To say the least. Dave and wife Charlie eloped to Gretna Green to tie the knot 5 months before their planned wedding day, telling no-one! It was all going to be a surprise on the big day - revealing to us all that [ho ho] they were already hitched.

And where does he hail from?

Nottingham - you know, northern home to Robin Hood and his band of Merry Men.

Ah yes, the north. Dreadful place. Rainy. Full of robbers.

Sorry, I'm finding it a bit hard to understand you my southern friend. All there is is this noise - a sort of Rah Rah Rah Rah Rah Rah Rah. Very drole.

So, in between pranks, just how productive is he?

Well, at just 29, married with 4 sons - Harry, Elijah, Reuben and Jude...

No, no, no. I meant musically, you imbecile.

I knew that. Given that he's been writing songs since he left the womb, and seems to be pregnant with new riffs and ideas everytime you see him, well, you can draw your own conclusions.

And his incisive insight into life, the universe and everything?

"Graham is smaller in real life."

Enough of this shallow talk. Time to throw ourselves in a bit deeper...

Dave is in many ways the cornerstone of the band, having been writing songs since he stopped wearing nappies [just how recent was that?]. Son of a preacher man, fan of Nottingham Forest and qualified dreamer [well you'd have to be to support Forest], Dave fancies himself as something of an expert in the carpet fitting department.

His wife Charlie says:

"Dreamy..."

The band says:

"We have a dream... a dream that one day Dave will play in time and sing in tune..."

We say:

"Dream on."

Not to be confused with:

The Archdeacon of Oakham, the Venerable David Painter. Dave the Painter. The Pointer Sisters.

Serious bit.

Eldest of 4 brothers Dave is surprisingly chilled for one who grew up amidst so much testosterone. Somehow his early song lyrics managed to avoid all that teenage angst much loved by bedroom bands the world over. The mild mannered Dave currently works part-time for a press agency which helps to finance his long-term commitments to the GD cause.